“Loving a person of the same gender?”, is a bit rude but this question has been stuck with me. I grew up in a society with constant judgements, unrealistic expectations, empty promises, and harsh criticism. Trying new things and being different has always been a challenging journey with bumps along the way. Talking about sex is considered taboo of all taboos here in Nepal. At a young age, our bra straps get sexualised but we don't get much-needed sexual rights.
Homosexuality was legalised across the country back in 2007. The Nepalese Constitution approved in 2015 has several provisions on the rights of LGBT people. Like the right to obtain a citizenship card, prohibition of discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation, eligibility for special protection that may be provided by law and the right to access public services for gender and sexual minorities. Though the law is there, people from this community face extreme societal discrimination.
Exploring new things and experimenting helps us know our authentic self. You might discover new pieces in the process. Some discover themselves rather late in life and some discover it early. Sexual orientation is a person’s pattern of emotional, romantic or sexual attraction towards the different or same gender. There are different sexual orientations i.e. heterosexual (attracted to the opposite gender), homosexual (attracted to the same gender), bisexual (attracted to people of either sex), pansexual (attracted to any gender identity) and asexual (not sexually attracted). One may identify himself as any of the above and no one shall make them feel unwanted or afraid.
Homophobia is still prevalent in many parts of the world. Discovering one's sexual identity is a journey to be celebrated. But in many cases, fear welcomes the new finding. The fear of being different, the fear of being abandoned and the fear of losing people whom you love. The mountains along the way are hard to climb. Sleepless nights, anxiety and loneliness haunt them. Regardless they chose to confide in somebody.
Coming out of the closet in Nepal requires a lot of courage. In some cases, they face criticism, judgement, snarky remarks, and abandonment. They search for people who love them for who they are. Broken self-esteem, self-blaming, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and addiction become their companion. Next time someone comes out to you, give them a warm hug and let them know you love them regardless.
“It's a trend” is what we often hear. It’s not and it never was. It’s not new. It has always been there. Alexander the Great, Leonardo da Vinci, Barbara Gittings, and many other important historic figures are suspected to be part of the community. In recent years mainstream media started covering topics regarding the LGBT community. They realized they were not alone. The bottled-up emotions were normal and it was not a sin. The press spread awareness to the mass about sexual orientations. How it was an inborn thing and neither a choice nor a trend.
It's June, a month to celebrate love. It's time to unlearn what we have been taught and embrace new things. However, you may identify yourself as, gay, lesbian, transgender or straight. Let's celebrate Love, which comes in all shades and shapes and let's learn to love all shades and shapes.
This was originally featured on Sangat Nepal Blogs
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