21 years of life, 9 years since I started getting my menstrual cycle and this time was the first to feel like a curse. My menstruation started a day before Nepalese’s greatest festival. Alas, What happens now? I don't get to put tika with others when I traveled hundreds of miles for the festival? I opened the browser and started researching why, Why can't i? Am I impure? Did my big mother yell at me when I mistakenly entered her room with photos of the gods she worshiped because I was impure? Why does sastra treat menstruating women like a taboo?
Menstruation is when the endometrium which was preparing itself for life to grow inside it, sheds on the 14th day after the day of ovulation. It takes place throughout a woman's reproductive life, cycle length varying from woman to woman. About 80% of women experience period pain at some point in her life. If a menstruating woman is considered impure then are goddesses not worshiped for 4 days a month because she too is impure?
I stumbled across an article which tried to explore scientific reasons as to why menstrual practices exist. She also explained spiritual reasons as to why women are advised not to go to temple during their bleeding phase. The energy flows downwards in a menstruating woman, but the energy in temples is flowing upwards. Which creates a conflict in energy flow in a woman's body. Menstruating women in ancient times were considered so pure that people worshiped them and what's so pure wasn't touched and what was not touched was a taboo.
Everyone was putting on tika, receiving blessings. Every forehead painted red, except mine. The day of Vijaya Dashami, menses which was there to prepare to nourish life for another cycle felt like a curse. Every giggle that came my way pulled my heartstring and I was there full of tears. My sister made a different tika, the tika which wasn't Goddess Durga’s tika. She said it might be her turn someday, she put the tika on me and rest followed suit. I wasn't allowed to put on the Jamara though to which my mother said Jamara was directly linked to goddess durga.
Throughout Five days of Dashain where we could put tika on, everyone asked why are you not putting tika. To which my mother replied,’Nachune vayo’. Still many people around the country aren't aware what menstruation is.The person to teach me how to wear a pad was my friend, not an adult in my life. No conversations about menstruation and menstrual hygiene are being held. Menstrual hygiene and reproductive health are being the major concerns among young adults.
Yes, every action and rule could be justified. How menstrual huts were built in some parts of India firstly, to keep a menstruating woman away from her husband during menstruation. Why a menstruating woman should eat alone away from the rest of the family, so she doesn't absorb negative energy from all other people as women during menses are highly receptive of energies.
All practices however might have originated, should it not be up to a menstruating woman to decide if she wants to follow them or not? A Question stuck with me throughout the festival, shouldn't it be my choice if I want to put tika or not? Should allowed and not allowed be thrown into a conversation without even considering whys and why nots?
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