Debunking

Red V-necked sweaters, green pants and cream-coloured shirts, we were running around the central island of tables in the classroom. Thirty-centimeter-long metal scales, yes we were playing with that. Fourth grader Preety got her first outlook on friendship that day when she locked herself in the washroom, terrified. Days with frequent taunts, satires, doubt and threats followed that event. She grew up to be untrusting, hyper independent and with a broken self-esteem.

Self-sufficient, smart, overachieving, confident, someone whom the parents would make an example of. She grew up to be that girl only to cover up her flaws. Friends became humans of similar age groups who were bound to leave one day and would be of no use thereafter. 

The fish then swam to a larger pond. The facade then disappeared, she was no longer the smartest, the most confident one and it was okay. She was humbled. She met friends who cared, someone she could relate with. Traveling roads which she never did, found her versions. Friends who would not use her vulnerability against her when they were cornered. Friends who screamed forever and ever in her life of never again. She connected with herself more often, met different people and made truckloads of memories. Healed enough to reconnect with friends who grew up together and realised how silly she had been.

Growing up the fish moved to an ocean—a wider diversity of people, different views in life and honestly more complicated minds. Friendship became a complex game again. Trusted, cared and shared only to be left with, why did I’s?  Since She tasted the constants she could no longer expect less.  While she was searching for the next constants in her life, she was left there shattered, in awe, manipulated and again on guard. Only kept her around so their flaws just seemed silly.

Good news fellow readers, she found her person. A person who gets angrier when people don't treat her right is a bit overprotective but genuinely cares. Bombards her with what, why and how trying to understand what goes in her two brain cells.  She is forced to think about what she did in her default settings. 

Through phases of life, she had different dynamics of friendships. Some friendships stayed the same while some grew apart. She is still building herself and adapting to changes. Learning what is right and what is not. Learning to finally move on, and leave things behind. Life debunked her concept of friendship time and again. She found friends who were constants in her life of variable. The concept of friendships is still moulding with time, but hope she finds the courage to be happy and seen with her friends.